Yess.. I am Back in the new year with a resolution to write again.. cant believe its been almost a year I posted something last time... I may not keep a track of time but Blogspot Does :P
The last post was wen I was about to get engaged..super happy .. Super Nervous... and today am here.. Married for 8 Months... Yes.. life has changed ... changed a lottt.. So much that I wished somebody had scribbled these words on the Engagement Ring itself for me to Read and run Away.. I wish somebody jolted me out of the deep slumber i was in and showed me the sign board..I would have ran for my life...
Why all this Post purchase rationalization now ?? What went wrong?? Are things soo Bad ?? NO not at all... but then life has changed,,, changed a lot.. Changed for GOOD?? that I am not very sure..
How did things change?? They started the moment Our wedding date got finalized... I had to quit my Job in Mumbai.. and return to my hometown ( Remember ..I was this Small Town girl with Big dreams).. So I quit, I get engaged.. I LEAVE MUMBAI... The Place i am in love with ..(Gonna definitely write a post abt it)... and return to My Hometown.. BACK TO SQUARE 1.. Making my mind mind meander from sad to happy to sad...
2 months ran out quickly...and the wait got over... and just like that I was married one day... But how did the story turn?? Is my marriage the Happily Ever After Types or is the Scary one... Well like every marriage it has flashes of both... Life has changed a lot since then... I have changed.. become negative... why?? Coz that's what happens wen u have negativity around.. I have not changed fundamentally as a person..neither do i see people differently.. but I cant help but notice how people and their beliefs change according to the person in subject.. how 1 things is right for XYZ ,and at the same time how it is the worst thing for me.. Hypocrites. The other reason is THEIR attempt to change wt I am as a person.. If I don't like dressing up.. wearing lipstick all the time... applying vermilion as if playing holi with it...It doesn't make me a bitch.. ur attitude does. .and i hate this attitude. U cant change me as a person
. I have cried a lot since then.. I am hurt. (more on it.sometime later wen I write abt it).. I dint knw wt to do..where to go to... and then with New year coming at the right moment giving me HOPE..i knw wt my new year resolution is... Its to stop giving a fuck to what others do to me..think of me... want me to do... and take control of my happiness.. No more crying because of others.. if they cant give me a reason to smile..they bloody don't have a reason to make me cry...
my mind is all flooded with different emotions at the moment and thus the post may not even be coherent..but then again.. I don't care... I am not writing it for the president of country to read it... I am doing wt my heart wants to do.. wt makes me happy.. (already on way to my resolutions..u see...) ..
Will keep posting as and wen I gt time out of this crazy world where wearing a saree and being dressed up like a doll is more imp than being genuine and respecting people....
Aarrggghh.. no more negativity on the post now.. ending the post with a beautiful word on my Mind.. HOPE...
Happy New Year....
Why all this Post purchase rationalization now ?? What went wrong?? Are things soo Bad ?? NO not at all... but then life has changed,,, changed a lot.. Changed for GOOD?? that I am not very sure..
How did things change?? They started the moment Our wedding date got finalized... I had to quit my Job in Mumbai.. and return to my hometown ( Remember ..I was this Small Town girl with Big dreams).. So I quit, I get engaged.. I LEAVE MUMBAI... The Place i am in love with ..(Gonna definitely write a post abt it)... and return to My Hometown.. BACK TO SQUARE 1.. Making my mind mind meander from sad to happy to sad...
2 months ran out quickly...and the wait got over... and just like that I was married one day... But how did the story turn?? Is my marriage the Happily Ever After Types or is the Scary one... Well like every marriage it has flashes of both... Life has changed a lot since then... I have changed.. become negative... why?? Coz that's what happens wen u have negativity around.. I have not changed fundamentally as a person..neither do i see people differently.. but I cant help but notice how people and their beliefs change according to the person in subject.. how 1 things is right for XYZ ,and at the same time how it is the worst thing for me.. Hypocrites. The other reason is THEIR attempt to change wt I am as a person.. If I don't like dressing up.. wearing lipstick all the time... applying vermilion as if playing holi with it...It doesn't make me a bitch.. ur attitude does. .and i hate this attitude. U cant change me as a person
. I have cried a lot since then.. I am hurt. (more on it.sometime later wen I write abt it).. I dint knw wt to do..where to go to... and then with New year coming at the right moment giving me HOPE..i knw wt my new year resolution is... Its to stop giving a fuck to what others do to me..think of me... want me to do... and take control of my happiness.. No more crying because of others.. if they cant give me a reason to smile..they bloody don't have a reason to make me cry...
my mind is all flooded with different emotions at the moment and thus the post may not even be coherent..but then again.. I don't care... I am not writing it for the president of country to read it... I am doing wt my heart wants to do.. wt makes me happy.. (already on way to my resolutions..u see...) ..
Will keep posting as and wen I gt time out of this crazy world where wearing a saree and being dressed up like a doll is more imp than being genuine and respecting people....
Aarrggghh.. no more negativity on the post now.. ending the post with a beautiful word on my Mind.. HOPE...
Happy New Year....
